As we approach Mother’s day, I am reminded that this has developed into a commercialized event, just as so many other holidays have. My blog this week is a reflection on what is underneath the gifts, flowers, going out to dinner, and so forth.
I love Mother’s Day, and even though my own mother is no longer living here on earth, I miss her. As I was growing up, I never saw her a my role model, but there is something that happens when we age and begin to see our mother’s in a different light.
When Alzheimer’s Disease began to slowly make her disappear in personality and functionality, I began to write to her on my computer. In that writing, I was able to work through a lot of my issues that surrounded my feelings about her, and I began to see the marvelous and beautiful person she was.
My mother was also beautiful outside. We have pictures of her from high school and early adult years that make her look like a movie star. She was always beautiful outwardly, and my dad always said that he married the prettiest girl in the school. Even when she could no longer comprehend things, he would tell her that he loved her and how beautiful she was.
So, the struggle I had was more about not wanting to take on some of her issues, such as lack of self-esteem, avoidance of conflict in unhealthy ways, and readily taking the blame for things that weren’t her fault. I have spent years of my adulthood working through NOT doing those things, do I think my issues focused more on the adverse ways I perceived my mother.
As I wrote to her (even though I knew she would never read the letters), I began to recognize the positive influence she had on me. Her gift of music was imbedded in my life, and she had a beautiful singing voice which I was fortunate to inherit that ability from her. Her faith was such an inspiration, and her dedication, commitment and love for her husband and children was powerful.
I was very blessed to have the mother God gave me, and I know that there are many people who would long to have had that relationship with their mothers. Hopefully, there were and are people who have been like a mother to them. For some children, their father is both mother and father, and vice versa.
This Mother’s Day, I celebrate the gifts of mothers and mother-figures who enrich our lives and bless us beyond understanding. My hope is that those who have had issues with their mothers can forgive them and find the positives they can take away from the relationship.
Happy Mother’s Day!